The Cougar Review

By April

The doctor said something about a computer chip in my head-

In everyone’s head

That’s used as an extension of our brain,

Storing all our memories and knowledge.

My chip kept my knowledge

But everything else-

My memories 

Of the world

Of my life

Of me

Of my family

Lay in a grave I can’t find.

The doctor said it’s been a common occurrence for people to come to the hospital with their memories wiped.

That there’s a growing trend of people who manually delete all their memories from their computer chip.

He said I must have done the same. 

“But why?” 

The doctor shrugged

Said maybe my life was too painful to remember

Too much too bear

Too sad and too lonely

That it must have been better left in an unnamed grave.

I stared at one of the white walls in the room, trying to call up some memory that could agree with what the doctor was saying

But as I stared at the wall,

The wall just reflected the blankness consuming me.

What made me crave this blankness over my own memories?